I
guarantee this little baby would sell like hotcakes
if ever it were mass-produced, no question. This
little creation of mine, (dubbed the "Super-72 Connector"
cause it sounds neato), is a replacement edge
connector for the 8-bit NES. You install it in
the exact same fashion as the regular replacement
connectors
and WHAMO! ...Your NES works like new. Now, you
might ask "Well, what makes this one so special
over the regular ones I can buy online for $8?"
The answer is quite simple: IT KEEPS WORKING.
(For those of you uneducated to the poor design
of the original connector, allow me to explain...)
Long long ago (the early 80s), in a galaxy far
far away (I'm assuming Japan), there lived a monkey
named Bill. Bill was a special monkey with special
needs. He only had two fingers per hand, a third
nipple on his forehead, was blind in one eye and
fell out of trees into jagged rocks multiple times
when he was young and "invincible". Bill also
experimented with many drugs later in life when
he found it hard to fit in with the other chimps
because of his defects. Eventually Bill tried
cleaning up his act and got a job working for
Nintendo of America where he was appointed the
job of designing the 72-pin NES cartridge connector.
Thanks Bill! ...You crazy asshole.
I've tried, and believe me, it's pretty hard to
think of anything with a worse design than that
piece of shit. It's absolutely horrible. Almost
lawsuit-worthy when you think about it. (Forgive
me if I'm insulting your intelligence, but I figure
it should be explained anyway.) If you look at
the bottom of any NES game, you're likely to see
several little metal contacts on the board. In
order for all those little pins to make a good
contact with the pins inside the system, you had
to push the game downward. (Remember? Slide the
game in and push down.) That was they're major
design flaw. Over time, many of these pins inside
the cartridge connector get bent upwards and don't
make a good contact to the pins on the game, if
at all. The result? *ahem* Remember those blinking
screens? Remember blowing in the games? Remember
slapping the system around to make things work?
...Yeah. Thought so. Anyway, we here at StupidFingers
would like to present Bill the monkey
with the award of Supreme Idiocy for his horrid
shitball of a cart connector design. I'd also
like to take this moment to extend my middle finger
in the direction of Nintendo of America for not
jumping on the ball and redesigning that
turd when they started noticing problems. (I
do not count the "Top-Loader" NES, as it came
along much later. There are no excuses.)
Well, I thought I'd adress the problem myself
since it seemed nobody else would. (Except you
other fellas that came up with homemade solutions.
I salute you). My goal was to design a catridge
connector that would install just as easy as the
original ones (no physical case modification necessary)
and have it outperform the originals. ...AND LAST!
Things were a little tricky at first, but all
in all, I wouldn't say it was that hard. All you
really need are two of the original connectors
(already defunct or not, your choice) and the
72-pin edge connector desoldered from a Game Genie.
In a nutshell, I dremmeled the two original cart
connectors in half (horizontally) and soldered
the two "good" ends together, then attached the
edge connetor from the Game Genie onto one of
the ends and epoxy glued it into place. The end
result is a 72-pin NES connector that installs
just like the original and works about as good as a
top-loader! There's also no need to push the game
down since the pins make a perfect contact just
by sliding the game straight in. In fact, you
can't physically push it down anyway. (Unless
you wanted to break something, in which case you'd
be insane.) As you'll notice from the images below,
the games stick out a little further than usual
because of the added length on the connector,
but it doesn't keep the lid from closing so it's
not an issue. Besides, I think it makes it easier
to remove the game when it's positioned like this.
I'll probably be posting a How-To and even offering to
sell these puppies
once I have enough spare parts again, so keep
your eyes out. (No really, keep them out! Be a
man and pluck em!) And now for your viewing pleasure,
some images of the soldering and various angles
of the 'Super-72' connector.




